While listening to some old Jodeci “Freek’n You,” it occurred to me that those of us raised in the 80s and 90s listened to some “nasty” music. And if we are honest with ourselves, our parents were listening to some “nasty” music too (think Clarence Carter, “I be Strokin’,” Marvin Sease, “Candy Licker,” and Betty Wright, “Tonight is the Night”)!! So the question becomes, have you ever actually had sex because of a song?
There has been a lot of discussion about what children and young people are listening to on the radio and youtube. And I understand, every other song on the radio is somebody talking about pushing panties to the side, riding surfboards, spending a stack to watch two girls kiss, and asking for a threesome as a birthday present. I get it. At least when Jodeci was on the radio there was a balance – you heard some trash (rarely) and you heard some really good music (often).
My concern is that we are using music, Hip-Hop specifically, as a scapegoat and avoiding the real issue: no one is talking to young people about sex. If you are not engaging young people in discussions about what they are listening to, then how can you be mad when they “perform” what they hear and see?
More importantly, are young people actually having sex because of lyrics they listen to or because they’re going through puberty and are horny all the damn time? Are they having sex because they watched a music video or because someone whispered something “nasty” in their ear at their locker, their knees got weak, and that made them feel good? This ain’t quantum physics folks; young people are having sex because that is what their body is designed to do at this age.
When I had sex for the first time as an adolescent it was not because of Akinyele’s “Put it in your mouth,” or because Trina gave me explicit instructions on how to be “Da Baddest B!tch.” Having sex had nothing to do with R. Kelly and “12 Play,” it had everything to do with my feeling ready, willing, and able. Could I have waited another year or two? Sure. Would there have been more “nasty” music on the radio then? Absolutely. So let’s stop blaming music and have the real conversations.
Court is now in session…
*Having sex “to” a song is not the same as having sex “because of” a song. Having drunk or high sex “to” a song is also different than having sex “because of” a song.