Snow day? Check. Shall we talk about sex and gender? Check.
I had the pleasure of presenting at the 3rd Annual L.O.C.S. Conference at Harvard Law over the weekend and it was wonderful! Met amazing people and had fabulous conversations about sex and sexuality. Interestingly enough, the topic that is still on my mind today is that of masculinity. Specifically, how masculinity is taught and what messages we send to our masculine-identified folks.
Bkln Boihood presented a workshop entitled Un/Doing Masculinity and it really had me feeling some kinda way. I mean, masculine people of color get the shitty end of the stick in a lot of ways if you ask me. Yes, patriarchy is real. Yes, male/masculine privilege is real. Yes, there are some real masculine douche-bags in the world. But, take a second and think about some of the gender education masculine folks get:
1. Don’t cry
2. Don’t show emotion unless it’s anger
4. Ain’t no p*ssy, like new p*ssy
5. Bros over hoes
6. If you don’t want sex 37 times a day, something is wrong with you
7. If you have a micropenis, you are doomed to a sex life filled with blow-up dolls (“better be good at cunnilingus/fellatio,” says the peanut gallery)
I mean let’s be for real, men and masculine-identified folks get very limited options when it comes to gender expression. And this limitation really had me thinking about how to broaden the parameters around masculinity. And by broaden I mean just that: you can happily believe in any of the 7 aforementioned concepts, but we could really use a few more for our masculine-identified folks to fully understand who they are.
One way I think we could broaden the way masculine folks express themselves is by making them extremely, unbelievably uncomfortable with their sexuality in broad daylight and see what happens. Pay particular attention to the dude at 1:44.
What are your thoughts on how our collective community has taught masculinity? Do you think we have done a piss-poor job? How do you think we can do better? Where have we done an amazing job? And how hilarious was this video?!?!
Court is seriously in session….